Glorious Biblical Profanity

So I’m sitting here in the Library at HBU, and I’m thinking how I haven’t written a blog in a very long time. Not “Angelo Gonzalez” long…but long nonetheless.

First I want to start out by addressing issues of a wild tongue. I am a youth pastor. I also curse on occasion. I realize that it can offend some people, therefore I am careful as to whom I curse around…(generally men whom I am comfortable around.) I especially try to not curse around ladies, especially my girlfriend, because I believe that it can be disrespectful. Also, I believe that directly and maliciously cursing another human, one created by YHWH, one I’m called to love, is a sin.

Matthew 5:22 (NASB):

But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire.

In the Greek, the literal term used for fool is raka, transliterated “raka.” It is a term of abuse. We can conclude that it is sin to maliciously verbally abuse one of YHWH’s creations.

However, aside from the fact that I’ve always imagined Christ running through the temple dropping “GTHOs” at the Pharisees, there is other biblical evidence that there is appropriate times to use such words that might be explicit enough in meaning to carry a certain shock value. Enter Paul. I will insert a verse from the third chapter of Paul’s letter to the Philippians. First, I’ll insert the English NASB version, then what the Greek New Testament says…for you biblical language scholars.

Philippians 3:8 (NASB)

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.

PROS PWMAIOUS 3:8

alla menounge kai hgoumai panta zhmain einai dia to uperecon thv gnwsewv Cristou~ Ihsou tou kuriou mou, di on tap anta ezhmiqhn, kai hgoumai skubala, ina Criston kerdhsw

[Feel free to notice and scoff at my lack of breathing marks and accents…that’s mainly because I haven’t figured out how to properly type them.]

I call your attention to the underlined word skoubala. This word, translated in most English texts is the word "rubbish." I tell you the truth, the word that is used in the original Greek carries a larger shock value than the word "rubbish" does in English. The correct English word used to translate would have been the word "shit."

Don't be mistaken. I am not saying that we are allowed to go around talking with filthy tongues. I am, however, saying that Christ and the apostles weren't the nice mannered, calm men that we are taught they were.

I heard a sermon one time that was on the character of Christ. Two contrasting video clips were used to portray Jesus. The first was of Mr. Rogers: nice old man with fun stories to tell, always in a chipper mood, always whistling an upbeat, inviting tune. The second was of Mel Gibson playing the role of William Wallace in Braveheart: wild leader of an army that is out to fight and overthrow the corrupt institution that was the English government, fighting for what is good, what is right.

Which one of these two would you say is more accurate?

God, I pray that we will see You for who you really are --a wild Lion that can't be tamed. You are not safe, but you are good. You are the king. Help us to live with the same grace you give to us so freely. Amen.

I'm Coming Back to the HEART of Worship

Hold on to your hats, folks! I just had a very interesting thought.

As most of you know, I'm dating a girl that is part of a church community that worships in Spanish. I have told her on multiple occasions that I would like to attend a service there, but of course I don't speak Spanish. One would think "there's obviously a language barrier that would interfere with you being able to worship," right?

The more and more I think about it the more and more I want to go experience it. Of course I wouldn't know the words to the songs, but who cares? I think all too often we get caught up in the words, and our own knowledge keeps us from experiencing true worship. Fact of the matter is that not knowing the words could make for a better worship experience. One wouldn't be focused on keeping the beat or staying on pitch. One would be focused on one thing --worshiping God. O, how awesome that would be.

Now, I'm not going to post the words to the Matt Redman song that is the title of this post, but the song basically talks about a heart seeking God rather than a body seeking attention. The song seeks to make people realize that we shouldn't focus on words or the beat or whether the choir is on tempo. It clearly seeks to put the focus of our worship on Christ. "it's all about you, it's all about you, Jesus."

My theory is this: If I don't know the words, I can't try to "perform" or whatever. I'd be standing there like a mumbling idiot just praising God. I'm not focused on singing on pitch or knowing the words. I'm focused on one thing --glorifying God.

Then comes the preaching. I obviously wouldn't understand the words coming out of the preacher's mouth, but does that mean that I couldn't get anything out of it? I think not. First of all, I believe that one can decipher a lot just based on non-verbal communication. However, I also believe in the Lord's ability to break down language barriers. Would I go in expecting a mystical miracle where I hear everything in English? no. In fact, I would hope to continue to hear in Spanish. I do believe that the Lord would teach me. And I could continue in my worship. It would be quite the experience indeed.

I hear of way too many churches or individuals that attend a specific church whining and complaining of how there's no traditional hymns being played in worship. First of all, as one who has studied philosophy, I would have to ask how one defines "traditional." Then, after hearing aforementioned definition, (which, by the way, would most likely consist of "the way you do it is too fast" or "we're used to an organ" or "i don't like the drums" or "it's too loud.") I would have to go one step further and ask "how do you know that to be the correct definition?"

See, there really is no "traditional." There is "the way things have been done," and there is "the way things will be done." At times they can overlap, but both are constantly changing and progressing, transforming. In the context of worship, however, I must ask why we are concerning ourselves with petty issues of "Why isn't there an organ in the worship room?" Seriously, if you have a heart seeking worship as opposed to a heart that is seeking a certain sound or a heart seeking confrontation you really have to step back and ask yourself..."who gives a damn?"

God, help me not to lose focus of the heart of worship. Bring me back there. Make me realize that It's all about you no matter what the words say, no matter how long the bassist's hair is, no matter whether the worship leader is bare-footed, no matter how loud the music is...no matter what. Create in my heart a passion for seeking to live a lifestyle of worship...for YOUR glory. Amen.

End/Beginning of an Era

I'm sitting in an empty room.

As I look around I see 4 walls, a lamp, my laptop, my phone, one of those pop-up laundry hampers, a pair of shoes, my bed, some trash bags, my alarm clock, my camera, my watch, an empty bookshelf, a belt, a shoe box, and my '06 BYX Island Party Shirt.

Now, one might say that this room is far from "empty." However, I just listed literally everything in my sight. The walls are blank --only the occasional hint of "sticky tack" from where my posters formerly hung. The artificial light is shining through my closed blinds because my shrine to the great Houston Dynamo is put away for the time being. My desk is dusty, and the litter/dirt/other on my carpet is clearly showcased since there's no longer dirty laundry occupying the space. The lamp seems brighter than normal because there is no posters or anything to absorb the light --just plain white walls...which reflect it. The music I'm trying to fall asleep to is echoing off all four completely empty walls --plus it's thought provoking, (Derek Webb) so it's not that easy to fall asleep to.

It is soon to be finished. My tenure in campus housing is coming to a close. One school year in two different dorm rooms, and close to 15 months two apartment units. Tomorrow night I'll be sleeping at Chris Fresch's house, and Monday I'll depart for California. My era of campus has come to a close. I've made such good memories in both the dorms and my two apartments --all of which will stick with me for years to come.

When I return, I will begin a new era of life --at least in the context of residency. I'm no longer going to be protected by the walls that surround my "prestigious" university. The only protection I'll have is Zep's little dog...who undoubtedly has a bark bigger than her bite.

Zep, 'Mando, and I have decided to seek off-campus housing for the upcoming school year. Well...'Mando didn't have a choice. He graduated. But Robert and myself want to live with him...and off-campus, so that's what we're doing. (as I write this the Derek Webb album I was trying to fall asleep to just ended). The Leglers have purchased a townhouse off of Beechnut, and we will be renting from them. I don't think I'm scared...well maybe a little. I'm not afraid of the gunshots that will be clearly heard if my window is opened. I'm scared because this is something huge for me. This is something new. I've been away from the 'rents for almost two years now, but I've always been on campus. Moving off campus is a big step. There's no doubt that I will be liberated. My prayer is for wisdom, discernment, and a burden for my responsibilities. I would characterize my feelings as the fear you get when something that was always certain is no longer certain.

In other news:
I've re-gained a friendship that is dear to me.


God, thank you for your beautiful, scandalous grace. Thank you for the empty room you've provided for me to lay myself to rest on this night. Grant me peace for my fear, patience and peace for my sorrow, and show your glory through my brokenness. It is YOU who restored a relationship, and it is YOU who will continue to work in both of our lives. Create in us the faith of a small child. Give me a bigger burden for your people. Soften my heart, and enable me to do your works.

Back in Texas!

I'm back! I can't decide whether or not I'm happy about that. It's been great to get away, but I think I am rather pleased to be back at my apartment, close to friends and whatnot.

I have some time before I need to do anything, so on the prompting of one Brandon Cooper, I thought I'd go ahead and make a post.

It's been a while...far too long.

For some of you who may not have known, I was in Atlanta, GA from last Wednesday until this past Sunday. I had a great time that included the Astros beating the Braves, a visit to the Georgia Aquarium, valued time with family, birthday shopping, a birthday cake, meeting my little cousins, and much, much more. It, indeed, was great.

I found myself in a weird situation on Saturday night. I didn't want to leave. I began thinking "what in the hell am I going back for?" I honestly just wanted to stay in Atlanta and not have to return to my classes or anything else. All I could think is that I was leaving a place where I had a lot of fun only to return to school. goody.

I'm past all of that now, and after a night out with Branden, Tramayne, and Marsonist I'm feeling pretty good. It was a firkin' good time!

I should be moving into my new place hopefully sometime very soon. I'll be living in a townhouse off of Beechnut with Armando and Zepp. It's definitely going to be awesome.

While in Atlanta I booked my next big trip --Northern California! Ever since my previous trip to Cali back in 2005, I've wanted to return. Now I get to! Back in '05, 3 friends (Westergaard, JZ, and tuby!!) and I went to San Diego for a week. It was great. Now I'm getting to visit Northern California. Robert and I will be roadtripping back to Texas! That should be fun/interesting.

God is teaching me, and It hurts. It still hurts. I know everyone is sick of hearing my pathetic emo garbage, but I still write it on the hunch that it's valuable to at least one person.

Temptation presented herself to me last night. It would've been so easy. It would still be so easy, but I must refrain. It's hard. God is teaching me what it means to be patient. God is teaching me to fully rely on him. He's teaching me glorify him, and seek him through darkness, through hurt, pain, and confusion.

I've started reading Tony Dungy's autobiography, Quiet Strength. When I initially picked up the book I really just wanted something to occupy my time on the return flight from Atlanta. I guess in the back of my mind I knew that Tony Dungy is a man of faith, but I didn't know that his book would have it shown so clearly. He really shouts it from the mountaintops. It's really encouraging to run along people in the pro-sports coaching/playing ranks that are so outspokenly Christians. I know that there aren't very many that I could name, but I was thinking about it and I've come up with this list:

Tony Dungy: Head Coach, Indianapolis Colts
Patrick Ianni: Houston Dynamo
Lance Berkman: Houston Astros
Orlando Palmiero: Houston Astros
Eddie Robinson: Houston Dynamo
Tracy McGrady: Houston Rockets
David Carr: Carolina Panthers

I know there are a lot more. There is obviously a huge slant in favor of Houston, TX. Sorry, it's where I live. I know there are great guys in other cities as well, so feel free to add to my very incomplete list.

Anyways, I'm just through the second chapter of Dungy's book, and so far it's been amazing. The first chapter takes you through the dark past that was his firing from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Of course everyone knows the ending --his superbowl victory this past year as the head coach of the Indianapolis Colts. I'll fill everybody in on what happens in the middle.

Anyways, back to what I was saying --PATIENCE. I hate to sound like a broken record...like I do on the radio for two hours every week [www.primetimesportsreport.com by the way], but I feel like I need to keep saying it...I need to keep reminding myself that I need to be patient. It's hard, so pray for me.

I get so weary of being patient. I get so weary of hurting. I get weary to the point that I just want out of the whole situation...How do I not think about it? Some of my friends love to be bastard-ish and ask why I'm still thinking about it, about her. They tell me to move on. One has even tried to talk to a girl for me (that was pretty funny actually). Why can't I move on? Is this normal?

I keep finding things in my room...little notes and whatnot that keep reminding me of the past. I think any time you do something you're reminded of the last time you did it. Like go to the Astros game.. or anything. Since we did a lot together, I'm reminded a lot. But there is good news on that front. The memories are pleasant. It gets sad sometimes, but the memories are good ones. I miss making them.

If I Could Just Sit With You
If I could just sit with you a while, if you could just hold me.
Nothing can touch me though I'm wounded or though I've died.
If I could just sit with you a while, I need you to hold me
Moment by moment til forever passes by.
If you could just sit with me a while, I need you to hold me

God, hold me. Place me in the center of your will. Give me strength to get from one day to the next. Give me patience, peace, and comfort. Thank you for all you have given me and will continue to give me. Thank you for blessing my life, and for your grace that is sufficient for the sins of mankind. Continue to show me your will, and use me to my full potential, and more, during this season. I love you.

A New View on Church Work...

In the past several days I've come to a conclusion about work in the church.

Previously, I viewed working in the church as sitting in my office, planning events, preparing to teach, reading, praying, etc... Now I have a somewhat differing view of what it means to be at "work."

I was talking with my amazing girlfriend the other night, and she asked me why I refer to my job as going to "work" or being at "work." My answer: because church work is my job. Plain and simple. I love my job. So much of the time we always place a bad stigma on being at "work." The word itself has come to carry a negative connotation. I love my job. I love being at "work." Nonetheless, I think still "work" is the proper label for it.

I do, however, have a different opinion on what it means to be at "work."

I've come to view being at "work" as a lot more than spending time inside the walls of the building where our church meets. The way I see church work is this: The church that hires me (Fair Haven UMC as of right now) gives me the resources to do ministry as I see fit. I am the youth pastor, therefore my primary target is youth. So much of the time we see our pastors as those who minister solely to a congregation. Now, we, as pastors, are definitely that. But we are called to do so much more.

If you've known me for about five minutes you know that one of my favorite television shows is a show called 'SportsNight.' It ran for two seasons on ABC several years ago, and was canceled after the second season. In one of the episodes, titled The Quality of Mercury at 29K, one of the main characters, Dan Rydell, searches for a charity to give some of his disposable income to. At one point during the episode, Dan's broadcast partner, Casey McCall, tells him "You can't fix everything, but you know what you should do? Anything. As much and as often as you can." I think that's the way we should do ministry --"Anything. As much and as often as possible."

We shouldn't restrict ourselves to...well...ourselves. We need to be doing ministry and seeking discipleship as much and as often as we can. In my mind my employer hasn't hired me just to minister to the youth of the church. They've hired me to work along side them in ministering to the community...as much and as often as I can. They've also hired me to sharpen myself as a minister. That means reading, fellowship with other ministers, and other things. By these things I become a better pastor.


God, I pray that you help me to do ministry as much and as often as I am able. Let your name be glorified by what I have done and what I will do. Amen.