What SUCKS the most...

I don't think anything can suck more than being in a position where everyone hates you for absolutely nothing. I mean...if you did something to deserve being hated you kinda understand, right?

Lately I've been faced with this situation that is out of my control, yet I seem to be getting blamed for it. What do I do? How do I handle it?

The suckiest part about the entire situation is how I'm being blamed for something then not being allowed to explain my non-involvement in the situation. It's funny. I'm being harassed by someone's friends/family via a certain online community over something that I, for once, am entirely not involved in.

I get little messages along the lines of "leave my sister alone" and "go to hell and burn" (nice thing to say, by the way...Christlike as well..I mean he was all about condemning people to their fiery home, right? Maybe if the church didn't teach that crap we wouldn't have that mentality so often. John 3:17...) from people who barely even know me. If you don't know someone nor do you know about a specific situation, don't act like you do. Maybe get the full picture (and the freaking plank out of your own eye) before going around pointing out the speck in someone else's?

Anyways...back to the topic at hand.

The situation does involve a person whom I was close to at one time and a person who I am currently somewhat close to. One of the people thinks she has been wronged by me, when in fact my only involvement in the situation is knowing about it...but I can't explain that to anyone for being blocked out.

I think it's because they're all a bunch of drama queens that have nothing else better to do than ruin men's reputations.

"Something happened...it must've been Michael."

I think my challenge in all of this is to find God's grace in it. In a post on another blog I mentioned how it is by God's grace alone that life is sustained. I said "If you are bored, it's by the grace of God" because of the fact that you are alive..therefore able to be bored. I guess my challenge is finding reason to want to be alive through something like this. It is part of my life, therefore it is attributed to God, right? Well, in the context of something that isn't so negative, one would appreciate that. But in this context I have to ask myself how I can attribute grace to this? How is God showing me grace in this situation? Obviously I am still alive, but who wants to live through something like this. If you'd rather die than live through a situation how can it be God's grace through him showing favor by allowing your life to be sustained?

OK, now I feel like a drama queen. Why is it queen anyway? Why isn't it ever king? Is that because our society is so male-dominant that everything negative ("drama" in this context) takes on a female gender in linguistics?

Back on topic again...

I think that through the crap we go through God shapes us. I believe he sends us trials and tribulations in order to make us into the people he wants us to be. I think Paul is a great example of this.

When imprisoned, Paul rejoices in the advancement of the kingdom. On Thursday, I was studying Philippians 1 with my small group. It talks about how people started getting jealous of Paul's reputation growing because of his imprisonment. He was getting to a point where people knew of him and his message. Other teachers began to get jealous of Paul's fame so they began to preach the gospel with a sense of fearlessness. Of course, their motives for doing it was way out of line, but did Paul care? no.

Philippians 1: 15-17
Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.

When we are imprisoned, can we not rejoice? It is obviously hard, but God is glorified. In my situation, as complicated as it is, God is getting glory. God is shaping me, and He is molding me. He is teaching me how to and how not to handle these situations (working in ministry, they might come up a lot). He is teaching me to live in love with the same scandalous grace he shows to us every day.

God, I pray that you will teach me what it means to love as you love us unconditionally. I plead that you will empower me to show this same scandalous grace to others as you show me every day. Amen.